A little drama at THE121

Let’s start at the beginning shall we?

Saturday morning I woke up to start my generator (like always) and NOTHING. No start.

No start =‘s no power (off grid living).

I phoned my amazing neighbor who suggested I bring it inside to let it warm up.

I hauled my 100+ pound generator from the back 40, up my stairs and into THE121.

After a conversation with the Lord, I hauled the generator back down the stairs, back to its outside dwelling and sure enough…she started!

I had been wanting to make a shelter for the generator for some time and figured with the storm coming, Saturday was THE DAY.

I have a friend who says “before you go shopping for supplies, shop at home first.” Brilliant quote.

I remembered that I had some leftover 2 inch foam board under my house and some leftover insulation tape. I pulled it out and got to work.

Beautiful? No.

Worked? Yes!

As I was putting the left over foam board under my house, I noticed some water dripping.

Water dripping UNDER THE HOUSE!

I inhaled deeply.

Exhaled deeply.

Sure enough…I opened my intake box and a water pipe had broken.

I phoned my generator guy who is also my plumbing guy. He arrived very quickly. I HIGHLY recommend him. I told him, I felt like I was hemorrhaging and he was there to save my life.

Long story short. There was no save.

On Saturday afternoon my 500 gallon water supply was emptied on Teaberry acres.

Of course, here in my neck of the woods it’s been single digits and lower. Fixes like this, can’t happen on a tiny house until the weather is above freezing.

And so…where does this leave this tiny house girl?

Grateful.

Grateful that my generator “just happened” to not start Saturday morning. I have ZERO doubt that I would not have been under the house had I not been building a snow shelter for my generator.

I am grateful that the water went outside not INSIDE my house.

I am grateful we got 13 inches of snow because now I have a LOT of water supply right out my front door!

When will I get running water back?

Only God knows that answer.

Until then…

You’ll find me collecting snow and boiling it 🙂

Disclaimer: MANY kind friends have offered shelter and showers. I truly am Ok!

Stay tuned for more stories and adventures which may or may not include several men at a hardware store and one tiny house girl…

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But…

Have you ever heard that if you speak a sentence and then add the word “But,” it negates everything that comes before the word?

I would let you know this has been my week…

Wednesday I woke up to frozen pipes…

BUT GOD.

Thursday I took another trip to Danville as my GI tract continues to struggle…

BUT GOD.

This morning, I woke up to no power and a frozen generator

BUT GOD.

I could be tempted to despair. I am tempted to complain.

BUT GOD!

Each and every day, He has allowed my nervous system to reset to the point where I could sit with Him and ask him two questions

1.) What do you want me to do about this?

2.) What do you want me to KNOW about you in this?

I am so tempted so often to panic and think that it all depends on me.

God wants me to know that it all depends on HIM!

Each time something has gone awry at THE121 this week, God has told me what to do and He has revealed himself as El Ro’i – The God who sees.

While it may sometimes feel like I am all alone at THE121 at Teaberry Acres. God has used this house and this land to teach me that I am not. That HE IS HERE.

So I do not fear the impending storm. I do not fear the cold.

Because God is in control and so much more powerful.

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37 Days

Without hot water.

Yes, you read that right.

Living tiny isn’t always luxurious. Most of us don’t go tiny to live a cushy life. Although, I would advocate that my chores are far less than the average house size.

That’s a post for another day.

My supervisor laughingly told me that she wouldn’t be seen without a hot shower, to which I responded, working from home has its perks! (Insert, no sniff feature on zoom!)

Also, living tiny has taught me how to conserve water, so fast showers have been my norm.

I just didn’t realize that EXTRA FAST would be my new norm for 37 days.

How does one lose hot water when they live tiny?

Great question.

THE121 has a tankless water heater run by propane. There are just a few settings to adjust depending on outside temperature (i.e. summer/winter or somewhere in between).

I can also adjust the flow of the water. Somewhere… in some class, I am sure that there was some sort of lesson about flow rate to heat rate…

Nonetheless the flow rate was too much to keep up with the heart rate and cold winters equals …equally as cold water.

To be honest, starting a new job, navigating my new body and the holidays…I hate to say it but the hot water wasn’t a priority!

Once things calmed down (and to the urging of my supervisor), I did decide it was time to phone a friend. I also thought (there has to be something I am missing!). I sat on the couch and prayed.

What am I missing Lord?

FLOW RATE!

With one turn of the knob…the hot water was back.

Yep. That’s all it took.

Really what mattered was that I quieted my heart and the Father told me what to do next.

How often I let the noise crowd out the one voice that matters most.

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Home Alone vibes

I was at a gathering a few weeks ago where I asked my friend, who runs an ER, if I was less likely to get sick now that I’m working from home.

He chuckled a bit and told me that I may be MORE prone to sickness now that I’m working from home because I’m not exposed as much.

Gee. Thanks.

Well don’t ya know…

He. Was. Right.

Remember the Christmas gathering last week?

Dang COVID.

I was fighting it hard until it began to fight me.

Mags and I have both been down for the count.

What does one do when one is single and runs out of food?

I decided I had enough energy to drive to the local corner grocery store to get some bread and eggs.

I NEXT to NEVER shop at said grocery store because the prices are sky high (welcome to living out in the wilderness) because they KNOW you need said items.

As I sanitized my cart and tried to get my bearings, I chuckled to myself. Turns out I was the ONLY female amongst a scattering of burly men wearing their flannel and carrying their shopping lists scribbled down by their presumed wife.

I suddenly felt at ease knowing that we were all lost.

As I navigated the produce section and spun around the chicken legs that appeared to have been there for a hot month or two…I came to my senses and realized I was neither there for produce or extra fried chicken.

I limped past the range of mountain men to the frozen food section, it’s all I could think to get to sustain life for the next few days.

After I found some microwave meals, I threw in some bread and eggs because…well…life.

As I fumbled through the last few isles I noticed the Pom Pom on my hat was bouncing up and down knocking on my head. I then looked into my cart and chuckled…

I was SUPER tempted to find a tooth brush, hand it to the cashier (no self check out in the wilderness grocery store) and ask the cashier if it was approved by the ADA.

Happy to report no mountain men followed me home….that day.

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Please park…

WARNING: ‼️

GRAPHIC CONTENT BELOW

I received and email recently that sent my anxiety way higher than it should have.

The email went something like this..

“If you are able please park in the overflow parking to allow room for our guests.”

The email truly could not have been any nicer. The problem in my mind was two fold:

1.) the overflow parking is a couple blocks away

2.) the words “if you are able”

How exactly does one decide if they are able?

This was the conundrum in my brain.

At this very moment. I may be. However, in a few moments, I may not be.

And this my friends, is what my new disability has caused.

If you’re being 100% honest with yourself, have you ever seen someone park in a handicap spot, get out and seemingly look completely….fine?

I have.

I have judged.

100%

Hence my conundrum.

What if…I’m not able?

What if…my bag explodes and I need to make a quick escape?

What if…I get sick and can’t walk to my vehicle?

What if….

What if…I appear able but I’m really not?

I made the decision.

The anxiety wasn’t worth the walk. I am not able.

I wanted to be able. But this is not my reality.

Disability doesn’t always equal visibility.

Exhibit A

My apologies if this picture is disgusting. This is the shirt I was wearing under my sweater to the event I was serving at…with the email.

About half way through said event, I began to be sick. I’ll spare you the details, however I did indeed need to make the quick exit due to unforeseen circumstances.

I prayed and prayed the entire drive home, with the windows down as I was heaving and trying to be safe.

I don’t have the ability to vomit and we all know I don’t have a colon. So what happens?

Exhibit A happens.

Did anyone notice 💩 flying out of my abdomen at the event?

I have no idea.

What do I know?

If I can, in whatever way I can, help just one person reframe what ability is and isn’t. I’m here for it.

I use to be that person. The one who use to judge. God forgive me.

If you’ve journeyed with me, you know He is in the business of growing me.

May we all remember disability doesn’t necessarily mean visibility.

Invisible disabilities DO exist.

Some days mine gets the better of me. Praise God, He is sanctifying me.

I also thank God for my cute cockapoo who stays by my side through all my sicknesses.

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Decompress December

A week ago I was talking to a friend who declared December to be “Declutter December.” I so loved that for her!

Her declaration got me thinking, “What do I want December to be for me?” If you read my last post, you know that 2025 has been HARD. As I laid on my couch talking to the Lord, He gave it to me, Decompress December.

As a therapist, I spend a lot of time listening to sacred stories. All of our stories are sacred because the Father is writing them.

Some of our stories hold sorrows. Sorrows and pain get stored in our bodies. As a trauma informed therapist, I have become even more aware of how God created our bodies so miraculously.

You may have heard the phrase, “I’ve been triggered” before. I prefer the word “activated.” Why? Because when you feel “triggered,” your body is actually responding the exact way that God designed it to react. Your amygdala is being “activated” to keep you safe.

Again, why? Your body remembers that at some point in your life, that feeling, that sound, that smell…wasn’t…safe.

I’ll stop there. I could PREACH (or geek) on this for a while.

So when my friend made her declaration, I also knew that I needed to make mine.

My body has held the weight for awhile. It has been remembering the hard.

God has been asking me to decompress.

Do the things that bring you joy tiny house girl.

Release the stress and decompress.

December is hard enough with ALLLLL the things. Why do we need to make it any harder for ourselves?

What brings you joy?

What do you need to let go of in order to decompress?

Release the stress and decompress.

You. Are. Worth. It.

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Martha Stewart Called

One thing I miss about the motherland are the amazing thrift stores. The current homeland, lacks SEVERELY.

When opportunity permits, I enjoy visiting said thrift stores in the motherland.

Upon my most recent visit, my mother mapped out exactly what time we would arrive at said thrift store. I found some lovely jewelry and upon check out, the cashier said, “we enjoy seeing your mother here every Monday!”

Really mother? Every Monday?

Yep.

So the following day as we planned our day, to no surprise…where did we go?

You bet. Another thrift store.

If you have read other previous posts, this Holiday Season is the best I have felt in several years. Actually, it is the first Christmas since living in THE121 that I have felt well enough to decorate not just the tree but the outside as well!

THE121 has beautiful window boxes (thanks so my amazing builder). I have dreamed about what would fill the window boxes at Christmas time since I moved in.

With finances being tight between short term and my first paycheck from my new job, I welcomed the thrift store shopping!

On day two, what did my eyes behold…an entire box of sparkling beautiful ornaments on sale!

C’mon you know that thrift + sale =‘s an angels voice beckoning from above!

I did a little skip from the counter to our car with my new found treasure in hand.

Saturday morning the weather was just right to practice my outside decorating skills.

I opened the shed, found my pruning sheers and off to the woods I went.

The woods here at Teaberry Acres sure do ground me (that’s another post). With each step, finding the perfect pine boughs to cut, my heart of gratitude welled, thanking the Lord for this free provision of fresh pine!

I laid out my branches and my ornaments and got to work.

I can neither confirm nor deny that Martha Stewart called and invited me onto her show for a special segment with Snoop Dog.

I then sent her pics of THE121 in a snow storm and she expedited my segment!!

All kidding aside, it may not look like much, but to me, it’s everything. It’s everything that God has provided for this year and that my friends, is enough.

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And here we are…

It’s the eve of December, the last month of the year.

I had the opportunity to sit around the Thanksgiving table with 42 relatives and 3 new friends this past Thursday. Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday. Multiple reasons solicit this answer, but mainly the opportunity to gather, reflect, eat lots of my favorite food and of course stretchy pants.

At the end of each year, I ask God for a word for the next year. The word He gave me for 2025 was “hard.” I asked Him for another word.

MULTIPLE TIMES

Each time, His answer was the same…

Your word is HARD.

I think we all can attest we like fluffy words or words that inspire. Not worlds like HARD.

I walked into 2025 bracing myself for what was to come. Without the ability to see into the future, I stepped in faith knowing that God had more of my sanctification in mind.

2025 has been HARD.

Relationship difficulties, two job changes, health challenges, major surgery and a host of other personal obstacles.

This Thanksgiving as I ate an ENTIRE plate of scrumptious offerings, it wasn’t lost on me that this was the first holiday in elven years that I ate my entire plate with family and I wasn’t sick.

This Thanksgiving was the first time I was able to spend valuable time with individual family members thanks to a remote job.

This Thanksgiving was the first time I left my tiny house for more than 7 days and returned to a home without incident.

Has this year been hard? 100%

Am I different because of the hard?

You bet.

I am stronger.

I am healthier. Physically, Mentally and Spiritually.

I am learning.

So as the calendar flips tomorrow to the last month of 2025, I am thankful God isn’t finished. He continues to push me, to challenge me and sanctify me.

Why?

Because he loves me that much.

He also loves you.

I am grateful for both.

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The people along the way…

Fun fact about this Tiny House girl, I’m an introvert.

You may not believe me if you’ve ever met me in person, but truth be told I’m enjoying a beautiful evening in, adorned by the back drop of the twinkling lights of my Christmas tree. It’s Friday evening, my cockapoo is snoring and I’m at peace.

So while that may be surprising to some, I will also admit I do fall more towards the middle on the Myers Briggs. I still very much enjoy people.

It’s the people along the way that make the journey worthwhile.

I can still recount names from jobs first worked, who have impacted my life. It’s always the people that make the leaving, the changing hard.

My biggest fear starting new jobs is always, “what if I don’t make any friends?”

It’s irrational.

Always is.

And yet, it’s always there.

Today as I walked out of my office for the last time, my heart swelled with gratitude for the relationships the Lord allowed me to form. It’s always the people that make the difference.

You can scroll back and read story after story of people who have impacted my life.

I can only pray that my life has made an impact as well.

I can also pray that, even in a new remote job, perhaps, just maybe, I’ll make some more friends.

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A liturgy of goodbye

Tonight I had the immense privilege of practicing the liturgy of goodbye.

11 months ago, I signed up to be part of a cohort of men and women from across the country to practice the art of healing.

I had no idea 11 months ago that these men and women would become like family to me.

Each Monday night we would gather in our virtual living room and hold space for each others stories.

In 11 months they have watched me resign from a job, start a new job, wrestle through the changes of my body, agree to another life altering surgery, wrestle through relationships, resign from a job and step in faith into another job.

I have found healing, held space for others and helped them heal in the process.

I sit in awe and amazement at what 11 months, 7 people and space can do for a persons heart.

So what does the liturgy of goodbye entail?

3 questions:

1.) Where have I seen you change?

2.) What do I long for you?

3.) How you and your story have changed me.

So simple and yet so profound. Most of us don’t do goodbyes well. If we are honest, we create rupture so the goodbye doesn’t hurt as bad (proverbially).

Tonight changed that for me. We can do goodbyes differently. What if, instead of cursing, we do blessing?

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