Learning a new way

As I approach the two week mark of this new broken body of mine there are so many highs, but I also want to acknowledge the lows.

The highs involve being nearly pain free for all but one or two days. For a girl who has lived in chronic pain, I can’t express what this means.

My beloved sister coming to care for me for several days and doing the dirtiest of dirty work (think Mike Roe would have loved to do an episode dirty work).

Being stronger mentally than I have been in months and the ability to lay on the couch with the sun streaming through my puppy kissed windows, does something deep for the soul.

Enjoying the company of friends and laughing until it hurts…more.

I, however, must continue to acknowledge that my body is broken.

With this broken body, it hates new things. In turn, it tries to reject that which is new. Namely in the form of hives.

I have a large outbreak that I have been battling for about the last five days. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am convinced that in hell, there will be eternal itching.

Unfortunately the hives are underneath my wafer which has to be worn, or else mount saint stoma spews…EVERYWHERE.

This is my current battle zone.

Speaking of Mt. saint stoma. She does spew, with no warning and no control. She also speaks…a lot! So if you’re coming to visit, get ready for the show!

Regardless of the highs and the lows, God is still faithful. I will never be whole this side of heaven. If God heals me or if He doesn’t. He is still good.

All in all, my heart is full of gratitude. I continue to heal. I continue to learn. I continue to lament. I continue to celebrate. Namely, I feel it all.

The highs. The lows. Everything in between.