What’s next???

Many of you know that I live with an invisible disability. If you hang around me long enough you can start to notice that the invisible becomes visible, but to the average eye…it’s just invisible.

As of late it has greatly impacted my quality of life. I’ll spare you the details but suffice it to say, my weekends are generally spent emptying my GI tract.

I’ve sought many “professional” advice, but mostly I’ve cried out to God asking Him to lead and direct.

One day on my drive home as I was lamenting, I felt the Lord asking me to pull over and call Danville.

Danville?

No thank you Lord.

Don’t you remember Lord! That’s where this all began!

Yes.

Danville.

So out of obedience, I pulled over and called.

I obtained a very quick appointment with a gastrointestinal surgeon.

Fast Forward a month to May.

I met with the surgeon who confirmed what another Dr. had recommended and that was all the confirmation I needed.

With one test and 6 weeks of prayer, I knew the next step was to have my colon removed.

So when I met with the surgeon for my follow up, my heart was at peace with the recommendation.

On Sept. 23rd, Lord willing, I’m scheduled to have my colon removed in Danville.

My hope isn’t in the surgeon or the surgery being successful. My hope is in God and God alone.

While I am hopeful this surgery will enhance my quality of life my hope doesn’t lie in this. Even if God chooses not to heal me, He is still good.

There’s a possibility I could go sooner if a cancellation happens. In the meantime I covet your prayers. I’ll be posting more in upcoming days but for now you can pray that I will continue to find my hope in Him and Him alone.

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Happy Year #2!!!!

It seems a little surreal to write that title! Two years ago on this day at 7:45 in the morning a few of us gathered at Teaberry Acres to welcome THE121 on her maiden voyage home!

I can honestly say that morning, those 120 minutes were the most nerve wracking minutes of my entire life. Thanks to a few skilled ex-Amish men and my amazing excavator, after two hours (from the road to the pad) from start to finish, THE121 landed with only a few scrapes and bruises.

Enjoy the video below that highlights the past 2 years of THE121 @ Teaberry Acres.

In some ways life looks a lot different and in other ways I’m still the simple girl living her simple life off grid somewhere in the woods of Pennsylvania.

The journey would not be possible without my God who has guided me each and every moment. He laughs with me. He cries with me. He talks with me. He has made the journey worth it.

So Happy 2nd Birthday house. I’ll enjoy you as long as the Lord allows.

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It was and then it wasn’t.

A few weeks ago I pulled onto teaberry acres after Bible Study and proceeded with my normal routine of starting my generator before calling it a night.

I picked my head up and my eyes caught this beautiful sight

I paused in the moment as the quiet oasis took my breath away for a brief time. I stood still with the Father and thanked Him for this gift he allows me to call home.

This part of the acres has been such a gift to me. The place where I sit and chat with God. The place where I can be still and ponder the crazy that is sometimes called life.

And then.

This past week I pulled onto teaberry acres after Bible Study just like the weeks before. I did my similar nighttime routine of starting the generator before bed and something seemed off. I went to bed and called it a night.

And then came the morning. Everything is clearer in the morning right?

My beautiful oasis. Devastated by two fallen trees. The tree caught the line my lights were hung on and took it down with it.

So bummed.

But then the Father whispered to my heart You can’t refuge here.

And I knew He was right.

My refuge can’t be in THE121 nor at TeaberryAcres. My refuge has to be in God and God alone.

So whether my house stands or not. Whether my trees stand or not.

I will refuge in Him And Him alone.

Now time to get out the chainsaw!

p.s. wasn’t that kind of God to drop the tree on my fire pit?!

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Weak

When preparing for a job interviewing, a common question asked is “what is your biggest weakness? I’ve heard so many times “my biggest weakness is also my biggest strength.”

We try to spin weakness.

Why?

We hate it.

Most of us have grown up in worlds where weakness was wrong.

America. Land of the Great. The Brave. The Free.

Land of the weak?

No.

If you’ve known me for anytime within the past 12 years you know that I’ve lived with an invisible disability. My digestive system has been slowing dying over the past few years and progressively has gotten worse.

It’s left me weak.

Weak physically and mentally.

I’ve been fighting against my body. I’ve been fighting against my own weakness.

I’m not suppose to be weak.

But the reality is, I am.

What’s one suppose to do with that?

As a therapist, I can thought stop, I can reframe, I can meditate and visualize and I do all those things.

But the one thing?

The one thing is the main thing.

Fix my Focus.

In my weakness He has shown me

  • His steadfast love
  • The love of community
  • The power of vulnerability
  • His abundant faithfulness
  • HIS STRENGTH

Have there been lots of tears? Yes.

Have I fought with Him? Yes.

Am I learning to trust Him? Yes.

He has had to strip me of my strength for me to learn that His strength and His power is enough.

And for that, for Him, I am beyond grateful.

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A sit in the silence

I have some big things coming up. One of them has the possibility to be very unknown, so I’ve been asking some questions that come with those big unknowns.

A friend asked me a question…

“Why are you afraid to sit still?”

And so… I sat still.

Kind of.

First I had to get my space ready….so I was…you know…comfortable.

Because honestly who enjoys sitting in discomfort?

One of my favorite places at teaberry acres is in my hammock chair around the fire pit.

So I built the fire and I sat.

There’s only one being that I know who has all the answers and so I sat and I asked…

“God, why do I have a hard time sitting still?”

And I waited…

He led me to

Luke 9:35

He told me, I’m just like Peter.

Jesus had chosen Peter to be in his inner circle that day… Peter was invited to come. To come to a moment no one else except he, James and John would witness.

Peter went, but the dude fell asleep (Lord knows there no judgement because this girl loves her sleep too!).

And then…they startle awake to see two dudes who have long since died.

Peters reaction?

“Let’s get to work!”

Why he felt it necessary to build shelters? I have no idea. But in that moment he had a choice. He could busy himself or BE with the ONE and be in THE MOMENT that never would be again…he wanted to work.

And then God intervenes…

LISTEN to my son. HE is THE one.

And so my answer to the question?

I’ve listened to far too many other voices my entire life.

Voices that say “do and you will be…”

I have valued other voices above THE ONE voice.

I have learned that DOING =‘s value (that’s another blog post) and so God is in his gracious loving care for me, to prepare me for what’s next…is teaching me now…to sit in the silence…and listen.

There is great value in being.

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What about the 💩?!

I’ve advocated for off grid living to countless people… and the #1 question I get…

What about the 💩?!

If a composting toilet was or is an anomaly to you, there’s no judgement, it was to me too at first!

So here’s the basic Tiny House Girl breakdown of how the composting toilet works…

Step #1 Remove dog from bathroom

But seriously, that bucket in front of the toilet is the liquid bucket. No you can’t pee and poop at the same time (this may be a deal breaker for some people but, trust me you can learn to change your ways!).

My urine bucket gets dumped weekly and if you want to know where the pee goes you’ll have to message me as I can’t disclose that information in a public forum 😉.

Now what about the 💩?!

Step #2 – remove the toilet from the house.

My toilet literally screws to the floor. It’s super simple to unscrew! I take mine outside for obvious reasons (ain’t nobody want humanure on the kitchen floor!)

Step #3 – remove the head and dump!

The head literally just skids off of the base (the head can be seen behind the toilet)

Then place a trash bag over the base (the base is where the solids are stored) and dump!

Step #4 – remove the trash bag and set aside

This is what your solids looks like (pictured above) almost all compost!

Step #5 – coat the bucket

After emptying the solids in the trash bag, I coat my solids bucket with diatomaceous earth (think coating a brownie pan with flour before pouring in the batter). This helps a few ways:

a. Bugs don’t like it

b. It prevents sticking (you know what I mean!)

c. It also helps with odor control

Step #6 – prepare your material

Depending on the season depends on the compost material I use. This picture was taken in the spring and therefore I use pine pellets. Pine pellets help absorb moisture and odor so it’s a great agent. However I notice I have to change my solids more frequently with pine pellets. In the summer I use more coco core as I notice less odor with the coco core but also mix in some pine pellets to deter gnats. Coco core definitely lasts longer making it less of a chore, however it’s also more expensive.

Both the pine pellets and the coco core need to be hydrated.

The above pic is a few handful of pine pellets. The pic below is what they look like after hydration!

Step #7 – pour your compost agent into the bucket up to the agitator

Fill the solids bucket back up with your hydrated material and re-install!

It truly is that easy!

The entire process from start to finish takes me about 20 minutes and typically I only need to empty about every 2-3 months!

Now where do I put the compost?!

In the compost pile!!!

Before you start sending me hate mail…

1.) I don’t use this compost in the garden where I plant veggies or anything else for human consumption

I throw my kitchen compost, my yard compost and my solids compost all together and it truly makes my plants so happy!

And here’s the evidence 🙂 it takes about a year for the compost to all conjoin and break down…these flower boxes are planted with the compost from last year!

And there you have it!

Side note: did you know that the most water consumption in your house comes from flushing your toilet?

On average I save about 100 gallons of water a week by utilizing a composting toilet.

Is it for everyone?

No.

Is it hard?

No.

Tiny House living is an adventure and the composting toilet is part of it!

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Sleeping with Ants

A few weeks ago while changing out my curtains in my bedroom, I noticed a peculiar substance adorning my window sill. Not wanting to deal with it, I swept it up in my tiny vacuum and went about my day.

Fast forward a week or two when I was changing my sheets, lifted up my mattress and…I swear it started snowing in my bedroom! My hair was covered in fine white substance, my mattress had a good covering, and winter had arrived at THE121…only it was summer.

I quickly freaked out. Panicked and of course texted some friends.

Again, I vacuumed up the evidence and began my data collection. After a few days of sleeping on the couch and watching my security camera which I moved to my bedroom (yes you may judge me for that), I realized I had a carpenter ant problem.

I googled everything I possibly could and decided I could save myself quite a bit of money by attempting to take care of them myself.

Ready.

Until I couldn’t.

Long story short, the ants…just. Kept. Coming.

I called the exterminator. $200 bucks later and a few weeks and I think they are finally gone!

I live in the woods, of course I have carpenter ants. Now I know for next year…

The lesson learned?

Surrender.

Lay down my pride.

Take note and don’t ignore the problem.

Just like my spiritual life. There are signs when I’m off track. If I ignore the signs, it most likely will become more intense and complicated and in the end it will cost me.

Surrender.

God is so much bigger than the army of ants.

P.S. next summer I’ll spray around my house…

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New Beginnings

If I squint my eyes and look out my puppy kissed picture window through the towering trees and just down the gravel drive, I can almost picture THE121 making her maiden voyage onto Teaberry Acres. My mind can recall that hot August hair raising day, nearly two years ago (has it been that long???). It has. Two years. Almost.
My friend spoke over my house two years ago, that it would be a place of healing. Life hasn’t been butterflies and rainbows these past two years, so it was necessary as I went off grid literally, to go off grid figuratively. I needed the space and time to heal my body but most importantly my soul.
The quiet has been serene, it has been sad, it has been life giving, it has been breath taking, and it has been healing. But now is the time. The time to bring my voice back. To speak life to my own soul, but hopefully to yours as well. I am a firm believer in story telling. I believe that with the telling of a story, when it is held in sacred place, it can help the soul heal.
So welcome back. Thank you for allowing me the time. Thank you for allowing me the space. If you’re willing to journey with me, I’d love to share my story as God writes it. The story of the mundane, lessons I’m learning from life but also stories from the gift that THE121 gives me each day. Living in a Tiny House is glorious, but it’s not always for the faint of heart either.
We will laugh, we will cry, and I hope there will be a few celebrations along the way.

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