Tag: #beingstill

What are you afraid of?

As a therapist I spend a lot of time talking to clients about their fears. We all have them. Usually one fear uncovers another fear which uncovers another fear which uncovers another fear. In fact, it usually takes approximately 5 times asking the question “and what is under that fear?” until we are able to get to the “root fear.”

Most of us are afraid of our fears and therefore neglect talking about it all together….which…is precisely what keeps us stuck.

A few years ago I read the book, “Do it scared” by Ruth Soukup. Here is the Amazon link if you want to check it out.

I’m guessing you don’t need me to explain the premise.

Do. It. Scared.

I continue to speak these words to myself.

I’m afraid to sign the loan for my house.

Do. It. Scared.

I’m afraid to leave my family.

Do. It. Scared.

I’m afraid to….

Almost anything I have accomplished in my life that has meaning and value, with the power of God, I have done…scared.

Why do we let fear stop us? I would argue, even paralyze us.

I have been reciting to myself a lot lately, “do it scared.”

My pastor used a phrase awhile ago, “on the other side of awkward is awesome.” ~Tim Walker

I would go one step further to say, “on the other side of scared is sanctification.” Which, I have found to be true for me. If you’re not on the sanctification road, perhaps you could say, “on the other side of scared is solace.” Overcoming our fears can often reduce our anxiety.

Today I chose to do it scared. I know and believe that doing what God has asked me to do scared will lead to my further sanctification.

What are you doing scared?

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Silence Interrupted

The snow crunches under my feet…the pines stand still with white dust covering their half there branches.

It’s quiet here in winter and perhaps that’s why winter might be my favorite. The stillness beckons me to rest.

Here at THE121, my bedroom is on the main floor (which by the way was a must for me with all those bathroom trips!) and resembles a cave tucked into the end of the tall ceilings under Maggie Marie’s room. I’ve been told by guests who have stayed in my absence that it’s the best sleep they have ever had.

And so, at night, I rest. I rest hard in the silence of the woods, in my cave bedroom, here in the winter.

Until the silence is interrupted.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

When the batteries that power THE121 run low, the inverter sends out loud beeps to notify me that my powers about to go out unless I do something about it.

Turn on the generator.

At 2am.

This is off grid living. Sometimes I have to give up things to get things.

We all do.

I give up convenience to save on money.

As the silence was interrupted at 2am, I had time to talk to the Lord. And what a picture He gave me.

Most of us live our lives doing our thing without much thought, until our lives are interrupted.

If you’ve been following you know that I’ve had several major surgeries that have quite literally interrupted my life. And yet…it has been in those interruptions that some of my deepest soul work has been done.

The Lord is doing a deep work in my heart and I am choosing today to be thankful for the interruptions which force me to the hard.

The sun sets on Teabbery Acres
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A sit in the silence

I have some big things coming up. One of them has the possibility to be very unknown, so I’ve been asking some questions that come with those big unknowns.

A friend asked me a question…

“Why are you afraid to sit still?”

And so… I sat still.

Kind of.

First I had to get my space ready….so I was…you know…comfortable.

Because honestly who enjoys sitting in discomfort?

One of my favorite places at teaberry acres is in my hammock chair around the fire pit.

So I built the fire and I sat.

There’s only one being that I know who has all the answers and so I sat and I asked…

“God, why do I have a hard time sitting still?”

And I waited…

He led me to

Luke 9:35

He told me, I’m just like Peter.

Jesus had chosen Peter to be in his inner circle that day… Peter was invited to come. To come to a moment no one else except he, James and John would witness.

Peter went, but the dude fell asleep (Lord knows there no judgement because this girl loves her sleep too!).

And then…they startle awake to see two dudes who have long since died.

Peters reaction?

“Let’s get to work!”

Why he felt it necessary to build shelters? I have no idea. But in that moment he had a choice. He could busy himself or BE with the ONE and be in THE MOMENT that never would be again…he wanted to work.

And then God intervenes…

LISTEN to my son. HE is THE one.

And so my answer to the question?

I’ve listened to far too many other voices my entire life.

Voices that say “do and you will be…”

I have valued other voices above THE ONE voice.

I have learned that DOING =‘s value (that’s another blog post) and so God is in his gracious loving care for me, to prepare me for what’s next…is teaching me now…to sit in the silence…and listen.

There is great value in being.

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