Tag: #healing

You can’t explain it…

I’m currently sitting in my favorite spot, my window seat at THE121. The sun is shining through the golden leaves of my towering oak while the sound of pine needles rain down on the gravel drive.

I hear Maggie Marie snarling at a pesky squirrel jumping on broken branches.

The end of the week hits different when my only job is to rest and heal. I sit and reflect on the week as though it were a thousand days. I try to savor the time and the moments because I know it will come to an end.

This week has held so many “God moments.”

Two stand out.

There has been no movement on the unnamed employer. I trust and ask God to provide. Typically I go to the mail far less often than the normal person, it’s just not exciting. However this week, I was led to the mailbox and inside was a very generous check. I stood and just thanked the Lord for his provisions.

ONLY. GOD.

The second may not seem like much, however God works in mysterious ways. Shortly after moving into THE121, I had a water break and I lost my entire water supply. Along with the water supply, I lost my water gauge that tells me how much water is in my supply tank.

For 3 years, I have lived on faith that there was enough water in my tank to supply my daily needs. For 3 years, I have never run out of supply!

This past week as much needed rain began to fall on teaberry acres, I noticed a strange movement in the broken gauge. I peered at the gauge briefly and the movement continued.

After 3 years, the gauge has “miraculously” started working again!

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the book next to my gauge is “Experiencing the Presence of God.”

God’s presence is clearly here at THE121.

When I feel weary, exhausted, confused or questioning, I simply have to stop. To stop and remember.

God is still in the business of the miraculous. He is still in the business of sanctification and faith stretching.

I pray daily that I would have:

Eyes to see

Hands to receive

And a heart to believe

I believe He is answering that prayer.

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Nothing Ordinary about it

This may look like an ordinary field on an ordinary day.

You may see the green grass and the hint of the leaves starting to change with autumn knocking on our door.

This picture may seem ordinary.

However, it is anything but ordinary to this tiny house girl. I paused today to take this picture as a reminder that it’s been over a year since Maggie Marie and I were able to go on a long walk.

Pain had hindered me from doing most things and yet, here we are taking ordinary pictures on an ordinary day with an extraordinary God!

When speaking to a friend today, she asked me how I was doing. I use to dread that question. However, I now love it as it gives an opportunity to explain what God has done!

I really am feeling great physically! My current struggle is staying hydrated. Honestly, I found myself telling her that drinking enough isn’t my favorite thing to do. My friend reminded me to reframe.

This is my new reframe “I am learning new ways to care for my new body.”

And that friends is a phenomenal reframe. God has indeed given me a new body. A body that can walk more than a mile to enjoy God’s beautiful creation.

May we all be reminded, not to get stuck in what may seem ordinary, but rather take time to find the extraordinary.

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How’s it going?

I’m coming up on the 1 month mark and truthfully, it doesn’t feel that long!

So how’s it going?

Physically, I just can’t believe the difference! Physically, I feel great (just a little sore…healing ya know!).

Mentally, I’m still adjusting. I truthfully feel like I’m getting to know myself again. Not the tiny house girl from 14 years ago, but who am I now and how do I honor this broken body that God is making whole?

I have been finding a lot of Jesus on my beautiful new porch. These crisp (feel like fall) days, the perfect of perfectest weather.

When I saw the completed porch, I knew there was just one thing missing. A rocking chair.

The movement of rocking can help calm the nerves and relax our parasympathetic system. So before I get all therapeutic…look it up 🙂

Rocking chairs can be rather expensive and on a short term disability budget, I knew it was out of the question. I began to pray and ask God for a rocking chair.

Maggie Marie and I have begun to walk a few days a week to begin to rebuild my core and leg strength that has been desecrated.

On one of our lovely end of summer walks this past week, I noticed some rocking chairs in a neighbors yard.

What can it hurt to ask?

I asked.

“I will find you the best!”

He replied.

And that my friends is how God provided a free rocking chair for this anxiety prone tiny house girl.

This beautiful chair shows the weathered signs of days gone by and you know, I think I quite like her that way.

It will serve as a visual reminder that I too am a little weathered worn. And yet, God can still use me to help others soothe their anxiety ridden parasympathetic system.

So how’s it going?

Healing isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon and God continues to show me day in and day out that He is all about the healing.

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Learning a new way

As I approach the two week mark of this new broken body of mine there are so many highs, but I also want to acknowledge the lows.

The highs involve being nearly pain free for all but one or two days. For a girl who has lived in chronic pain, I can’t express what this means.

My beloved sister coming to care for me for several days and doing the dirtiest of dirty work (think Mike Roe would have loved to do an episode dirty work).

Being stronger mentally than I have been in months and the ability to lay on the couch with the sun streaming through my puppy kissed windows, does something deep for the soul.

Enjoying the company of friends and laughing until it hurts…more.

I, however, must continue to acknowledge that my body is broken.

With this broken body, it hates new things. In turn, it tries to reject that which is new. Namely in the form of hives.

I have a large outbreak that I have been battling for about the last five days. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am convinced that in hell, there will be eternal itching.

Unfortunately the hives are underneath my wafer which has to be worn, or else mount saint stoma spews…EVERYWHERE.

This is my current battle zone.

Speaking of Mt. saint stoma. She does spew, with no warning and no control. She also speaks…a lot! So if you’re coming to visit, get ready for the show!

Regardless of the highs and the lows, God is still faithful. I will never be whole this side of heaven. If God heals me or if He doesn’t. He is still good.

All in all, my heart is full of gratitude. I continue to heal. I continue to learn. I continue to lament. I continue to celebrate. Namely, I feel it all.

The highs. The lows. Everything in between.

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