I can remember as a young child pondering in my mind if God created me to be a nun.
I’m not Catholic but I’ve always admired the life of nuns and monks (I’m not Buddhist either).
I’ve always been drawn to the slower life.
In my profession I see the extreme hurt so many carry. The scars of the world are real and deep. It is a privilege and honor to bear witness to those scars and to help others on their journey of healing.
The work can feel heavy.
And so, perhaps, my dream of starting a solitude retreat feels more needed with each passing day.
I am dreaming and longing of land, next to nothing but God’s country. Dreaming of a few yurts and THE121 where you can simply come.
In silence or in longing.
To talk or not.
Several times in my life, I have had the immense privilege of attending solitude retreats at a local convent. Each time, my visits have been truly impactful towards my walk.
I imagine a day where I could give that gift back to others. To those who are hurting, weary, tired and worn out.
To those who have been carrying more weight than one is meant to bare.
I can imagine a greeting of tea and a warm bed. Perhaps even a crazy cockapoo who may or may not be sleeping.
These are the longings of a tiny house girl who dreams of living an even simpler life and maybe…perhaps, inviting you into that life, even if it’s only for a moment or two.
Thanks for journeying with me. What a journey 2026 has been so far!
If you’ve been journeying with me, you know that in the middle of January I had a pipe burst and have been without water ever since.
In my last post I wrote about how each day I’ve been without water, the Lord showed me that HE had indeed, provided water. I just needed to go outside and scoop it up.
Which leads to this weekend…
The Bad News:
Another leak.
The Good News:
Friends who showed up. Friends who sacrificed several hours of their weekend to help this tiny house girl with a super basic need: water. They were able to repair the initial break and patch the secondary
DRUM ROLL PLEASE….
This amazingly glorious liquid poured forth from my faucet yesterday! Which also means the melting snow IS filling my tank!
I may or may not have sent a video to a select few of me singing the Hallelujah Chorus…!
If you’ve spent any time here or with me, you know I’m passionate about one word “REMEMBER.”
In Exodus, God said to Moses & Aaron
“Get a jar and fill it with two quarts of manna. Then put it in a sacred place before the Lord to preserve it for all future generations.”” Exodus 16:33 NLT
While we clearly don’t live under the law, there are so many Old Testament principles that serve as beautiful Reminders.
And so…
This morning I found a jar and poured in the remaining melted snow I had reserved and marked the top
Manna 2026
I set the jar in a place reserved for the things I need to Remember
I’ve been silent lately because truly words have fallen short.
My last post was on Jan. 26. Two days before that was when my pipe burst…20 days ago. For 20 days, THE121 has sat dry. Here in the mountains of Pennsylvania, the winter has been BRUTAL. Temps well below average including multiple days of negatives…
I sat with some friends last week with tears streaming down my face.
I. Am. Tired.
Literal survival mode had taken its toll.
The next morning a text came through from a good friend.
A warm house, family away. Come.
I took the gift.
Gratitude.
So I’ve been able to rest this week away. To regain my strength.
Please pray with me as friends come on Saturday with the hopes of fixing the broken pipe in warmer temperatures.
During the sitting with friends, our task was to write a name of God and pray around that name for our situation.
The name I wrote down was
El Roi
The God who sees.
He has indeed seen me. My distress. My discomfort. My cries.
He has seen me. I have seen Him.
Such a loving and gracious Father in the midst of one of the hardest times at THE121.
Tucked in tight enjoying the gift of a warm home with water 💧.
Have you ever heard that if you speak a sentence and then add the word “But,” it negates everything that comes before the word?
I would let you know this has been my week…
Wednesday I woke up to frozen pipes…
BUT GOD.
Thursday I took another trip to Danville as my GI tract continues to struggle…
BUT GOD.
This morning, I woke up to no power and a frozen generator
BUT GOD.
I could be tempted to despair. I am tempted to complain.
BUT GOD!
Each and every day, He has allowed my nervous system to reset to the point where I could sit with Him and ask him two questions
1.) What do you want me to do about this?
2.) What do you want me to KNOW about you in this?
I am so tempted so often to panic and think that it all depends on me.
God wants me to know that it all depends on HIM!
Each time something has gone awry at THE121 this week, God has told me what to do and He has revealed himself as El Ro’i – The God who sees.
While it may sometimes feel like I am all alone at THE121 at Teaberry Acres. God has used this house and this land to teach me that I am not. That HE IS HERE.
So I do not fear the impending storm. I do not fear the cold.
Because God is in control and so much more powerful.
A week ago I was talking to a friend who declared December to be “Declutter December.” I so loved that for her!
Her declaration got me thinking, “What do I want December to be for me?” If you read my last post, you know that 2025 has been HARD. As I laid on my couch talking to the Lord, He gave it to me, Decompress December.
As a therapist, I spend a lot of time listening to sacred stories. All of our stories are sacred because the Father is writing them.
Some of our stories hold sorrows. Sorrows and pain get stored in our bodies. As a trauma informed therapist, I have become even more aware of how God created our bodies so miraculously.
You may have heard the phrase, “I’ve been triggered” before. I prefer the word “activated.” Why? Because when you feel “triggered,” your body is actually responding the exact way that God designed it to react. Your amygdala is being “activated” to keep you safe.
Again, why? Your body remembers that at some point in your life, that feeling, that sound, that smell…wasn’t…safe.
I’ll stop there. I could PREACH (or geek) on this for a while.
So when my friend made her declaration, I also knew that I needed to make mine.
My body has held the weight for awhile. It has been remembering the hard.
God has been asking me to decompress.
Do the things that bring you joytiny house girl.
Release the stress and decompress.
December is hard enough with ALLLLL the things. Why do we need to make it any harder for ourselves?
What brings you joy?
What do you need to let go of in order to decompress?
It’s the eve of December, the last month of the year.
I had the opportunity to sit around the Thanksgiving table with 42 relatives and 3 new friends this past Thursday. Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday. Multiple reasons solicit this answer, but mainly the opportunity to gather, reflect, eat lots of my favorite food and of course stretchy pants.
At the end of each year, I ask God for a word for the next year. The word He gave me for 2025 was “hard.” I asked Him for another word.
MULTIPLE TIMES
Each time, His answer was the same…
Your word is HARD.
I think we all can attest we like fluffy words or words that inspire. Not worlds like HARD.
I walked into 2025 bracing myself for what was to come. Without the ability to see into the future, I stepped in faith knowing that God had more of my sanctification in mind.
2025 has been HARD.
Relationship difficulties, two job changes, health challenges, major surgery and a host of other personal obstacles.
This Thanksgiving as I ate an ENTIRE plate of scrumptious offerings, it wasn’t lost on me that this was the first holiday in elven years that I ate my entire plate with family and I wasn’t sick.
This Thanksgiving was the first time I was able to spend valuable time with individual family members thanks to a remote job.
This Thanksgiving was the first time I left my tiny house for more than 7 days and returned to a home without incident.
Has this year been hard? 100%
Am I different because of the hard?
You bet.
I am stronger.
I am healthier. Physically, Mentally and Spiritually.
I am learning.
So as the calendar flips tomorrow to the last month of 2025, I am thankful God isn’t finished. He continues to push me, to challenge me and sanctify me.
Maggie Marie is snoring at the end of the couch. My sister is in the loft working remotely and I sit with coffee in hand overlooking the acres reflecting on the goodness of God.
If you would have asked me a week ago if I thought I would be sitting in my house drinking a coffee today, I would have emphatically answered not likely, and yet, here I am.
Perhaps it was a grace that I didn’t know what to expect this time around. A grace for the work that I needed to do in my own heart.
I believe we all go through levels of surrender, and if we are willing, the Father will take us deeper and deeper.
If I were still in the hospital. If I didn’t pull through like I thought, no matter the what if’s, it would never change the character of God.
I can celebrate the losses along with the wins.
I am still quite sore and VERY nauseous. I’m continuing to learn this new broken and blessed body. This broken and blessed body that is keeping me alive.
Life can feel a lot like a roller coaster. I don’t love that analogy, mostly because my love of roller coasters has been squashed after digestive tract surgery (I’ll leave the visual up to you…).
Currently I feel like the up tik waiting to cress the first hill. Yesterday marked the 1 month until… mark.
You can imagine the “things” that need to get done. Remember the tiny house hoarder post? In my own mind, there were “things” I wanted to do to get ready. “Things” I think I need or want.
Unbeknownst to me, last night started the purge of me.
The creature of habit I am, I turned on my computer to watch some mindless show to fall asleep when suddenly it wouldn’t turn on…no computer.
Fine.
Today on my way to an onsite visit for work, my gracious co-worker texted me (whilst I was going 60 mph) to notify me that my back tire was “wobbling.”
Fine.
My amazing mechanic met me on site but sadly it couldn’t be fixed on site.
It’ll take a day.
That’s when my spirit said “not fine.”
I was “trying” to stockpile my PTO for surgery.
God has other plans.
With my 4 way flashers on, I prayed my way to my mechanics. Pulling over every so often to let the parade of cars pass me by (I waved politely to their middle fingers).
In my ballet flats with my work bag flung over my shoulder, I began to grumble as I began walking home.
And then…without warning…I heard the Spirit say…
I rounded the corner and crested the drive of Teaberry Acres and looked up to the sun peaking through the tall trees.
My blistered little toe rubbed against my new ballet flats as the gravel crunched beneath my feet.
What did I see?
Packages resting against the front door of THE121.
Packages from you, amazing readers, my friends. Who have blessed me more than I can express!!!
The Lord has a way of stripping us so that we can see Him more clearly. It feels like a lot of stripping of me lately.
The surgery post was probably one of the most vulnerable posts I have posted in a long time. I fought the Spirit hard on that post. My independent self wants to think (believe) I can do it all on my own. I can’t. That is the reality. He is teaching me to surrender. Why?
I have to let go of me, so that I can see HIM.
After I carried my packages up my broken stairs, I wanted to text just one friend, but I could hear the Spirit say, “text your community group?”
All of them?
Yes.
I did.
Almost Immediately the texts came pouring in with offer rides to work, prayer, cars being offered, calls to make sure I was ok.
It’s so easy to focus on what I don’t have. The Lord wants me to focus on what I do have. Community. Sometimes that community looks like you blessing me with your prayers as well as practical gifts even from hundreds of miles away. Sometimes that looks like care in my community right here across the miles I call home.
So does He take away?
Yes.
Does He also give?
Also yes.
Blessed be his name.
So whether in plenty or in want.
I pray that I can say
Blessed be HIS name.
Thank you for journeying with me. For blessing me. For praying.
Have you ever had those days? Where the sad news just doesn’t end?
That’s how today felt for me.
As I drove up the gravel drive of Teaberry Acres my heart welled with both sadness and gratitude. Sadness and Gratitude can co-exist.
My eyes turned upwards as my tires rolled over the gravel and proceeded up the hill. My heart was reminded of the generous provisions the Lord has granted me.
With my sneakers still on, I woke Maggie Marie up from her slumber (yes my cockapoo sleeps alllll day) and we stood outside with the sun beckoning us through the trees to talk and walk.
It’s been a second since I’ve been on the back acres, but nonetheless I felt the trees calling and my Spirit needing some grounding.
I climbed over the first downed tree that had fallen years ago and began to walk. With each crunch of leaves fallen months ago my Spirit settled more and more.
As THE121 began to fade, I paused and recognized so many answered prayers exist at Teaberry Acres.
Remember.
Remembering helps me fix my focus. Remembering also beckons me to dream again. As I stood at the spot where two trees precariously leaned against two others that broke their fall, I imagined what this spot could be. What could it hold for future healing?
Does God always have to break us to heal us?
I don’t think the answer is always yes.
However I do know that brokenness does lead to healing if we allow Him to enter into those hard places.
Sadness and Gratefulness can coexist.
My Spirit is challenged to continue to dig in. To remember.
THE121 @teaberryacres is a place of many answered prayers, one of which includes healing.
And just for smiles…enjoy Maggie Marie’s smile on our hike tonight @teaberryacres.
Tiny House Girl 