Tag: #tinyhouseliving #waiting #recovery #THOW

This I know

I can’t say that life has magically gotten better. That’s just not true. Most days are like ground hog day.

I don’t hate the days.

I don’t hate much of anything.

If I hate anything, I hate mental illness and diseases that plague so many of us.

I have heard from several of you after my last post. If I look at the stats, I would say mental illness hits most of us, if not personally, than perhaps relationally.

What does mental illness look like when you live alone?

It looks like, for me, doing what I know.

I know spending time tucked up with my Jesus is helpful. Even if, cognitively, I can’t go as deep as I normally would. I do it.

Why?

Because the word is alive and active.

I’ve been spending each morning with one verse of my favorite Psalm.

He is my safety. The Holy Spirit dwells in me. I know He is present at THE121.

He and He alone is my safe place.

I sleep.

Some days I can sleep more than others and that’s ok.

I advocate when I have the strength.

Just today, I advocated for more liquid supplements. The Dr wanted me to take over the counter. However, when I’m on short term disability, money is still tight. She heard me and sent a prescription. Thank God for insurance and empathetic doctors.

Physically, I feel better than ever with next to no pain (my pacemaker stitch is being a little spesh).

So I do each day, what I KNOW to do.

I’m so thankful for my tiny house tucked up on the woods that allows me peace and solitude to heal.

Heal physically.

Heal mentally.

Heal emotionally.

Healing takes time. It takes work. It takes each other.

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Spring at Teaberry Acres

Some days are just sad. Sad is ok.

Have you ever had those days? Where the sad news just doesn’t end?

That’s how today felt for me.

As I drove up the gravel drive of Teaberry Acres my heart welled with both sadness and gratitude. Sadness and Gratitude can co-exist.

My eyes turned upwards as my tires rolled over the gravel and proceeded up the hill. My heart was reminded of the generous provisions the Lord has granted me.

With my sneakers still on, I woke Maggie Marie up from her slumber (yes my cockapoo sleeps alllll day) and we stood outside with the sun beckoning us through the trees to talk and walk.

It’s been a second since I’ve been on the back acres, but nonetheless I felt the trees calling and my Spirit needing some grounding.

I climbed over the first downed tree that had fallen years ago and began to walk. With each crunch of leaves fallen months ago my Spirit settled more and more.

As THE121 began to fade, I paused and recognized so many answered prayers exist at Teaberry Acres.

Remember.

Remembering helps me fix my focus. Remembering also beckons me to dream again. As I stood at the spot where two trees precariously leaned against two others that broke their fall, I imagined what this spot could be. What could it hold for future healing?

Does God always have to break us to heal us?

I don’t think the answer is always yes.

However I do know that brokenness does lead to healing if we allow Him to enter into those hard places.

Sadness and Gratefulness can coexist.

My Spirit is challenged to continue to dig in. To remember.

THE121 @teaberryacres is a place of many answered prayers, one of which includes healing.

And just for smiles…enjoy Maggie Marie’s smile on our hike tonight @teaberryacres.

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If I could…

If I could, I would. That’s what I found myself saying to a friend.

“If I could learn any other way…”

It has been in the moments of pain that God draws me closer to Himself. I truly believe this is the route He has for me because His purpose is my sanctification.

About 6 weeks ago while doing laundry, I had pain in my side that stopped me in my tracts. The surgeon said “give it time.”

Twice, she has said that.

And now it’s been six weeks.

So here we are.

So once again I drove to Danville today holding my side and asking God to help me make it safely. I met with my surgeons team who scheduled another CT scan.

What happened? Only God knows at this point.

Is it hard? 100%

Do I believe that I should be able to do anything and everything at this point? 100%

But if I could learn any other way but through pain than I believe I would.

As I drove home, I continued to listen to an audiobook title Not A Fan by Kyle Idleman. The premise? Am I fan of Jesus or a follower?

I knew God was prompting my heart to surrender. To follow, at all cost. Yes even in pain.

So here I lay, flat on my back (with some good pain meds on board), surrendered (and will probably need to surrender again because you know…that thing called will…).

I wait and I listen.

I lean in and I ask for Him to teach me in the pain.

I would also covet your prayers as I have a couple appointments this week to meet with my PCP and also back to Danville for a CT scan (to hopefully rule things out).

Thanks for journeying with me…

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Tiny House Setbacks

It’s hard to believe I’m 1.5 weeks post-op already!

How’s it going?

Slow.

That’s to be expected, however and patience is a learned skill, not an inherent one we are born with.

So I continue to be grateful for each day that marks one step closer on the healing journey.

One major piece I’m grateful for is my friend who is graciously allowing me to recover at her house.

Why am I not at my house, you may ask?

Valid Question.

There are some drawbacks to tiny house living, specifically when it comes to recovering from abdominal surgery.

You may remember that I live completely off grid which means there are chores that have to be done everyday to keep THE121 functioning. Pulling the generator and emptying the compost in the toilet are two chores at the top of the list.

As you can imagine both of these chores require sufficient abdominal strength to which the Dr. has advised against.

There’s also the concern of not having valid stairs to get into my house yet (anyone know someone who is good at building stairs???). Mine may or may not resemble something from the backwoods of another era and have served me sufficiently until now.

And so I wait. I wait until God says go back. I’m overly grateful for my friend who has graciously agreed to stay at THE121 for me to watch Maggie Marie and keep the house breathing.

God continues to put each piece in his grand puzzle at just the right time.

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